Do you ever feel like the simple joys of life like having a clean house, a well-fed family, and some peaceful time to relax can quickly turn into discontentment when you see the perfect lives of people on social media?
After surfing through posts from millionaire "boss chics" encouraging me to level up my life, gorgeous globetrotters showing off their #LuxeLife, and women in ministry with huge online platforms, I have at times suddenly found myself questioning my own life and wondering if I'm doing enough. “What am I doing with my life? Who am I beyond a wife and mom? When did I let myself go?” are questions that spiral. Before I knew it, I'd end up on Amazon adding items to my wish list, telling my husband that we need to redecorate the house, or contemplating if I should buy a waist trainer or a gym membership. The gratitude that I had just expressed to God during my morning prayer and the sense of happiness I'd had from caring for my home would disappear and be replaced with displeasure in my life as a homeschooling homemaker.
What had caused me to lose my happiness? In simple terms, I allowed external factors to shape my perception of myself and my worth. Unfortunately, this is a common experience. As a minister and mentor, I often hear from women who struggle to find joy in the blessings that God has given them because they don't align with popular culture. They are tempted to make purchases beyond their means, follow trends that conflict with their values, or present themselves in a more flashy and attention-grabbing way in order to gain recognition and compensation online.
As women who follow God, we face a strong temptation to prioritize worldly recognition over living a righteous Christian life. Society often values physical appearance and financial success, overshadowing virtues like humility, modesty, faithfulness, and fear of the Lord. Additionally, there is a growing societal trend against traditional wives and Christianity, leading to a rebellion against the values that are important in God's eyes as defined by scripture.
To win the battle against discontentment and compromise, it is crucial to proactively safeguard ourselves against the tactics that Satan used to deceive Eve in the Garden of Eden - namely, the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. Therefore, taking intentional actions to counter these tactics is necessary. Here are a few actionable steps to start with.
Tip #1 - Meditate on the Word of God
It's important to remember that our value comes from God, and without knowing His Word, we can miss out on the wisdom and understanding He offers. Hosea 4:6 reminds us that lack of knowledge can lead to destruction, which is why it's crucial to seek God's truth. Psalm 139:14 tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made in God's image, and John 15:5 emphasizes that apart from Jesus, we can do nothing. By spending time with God through worship, prayer, and studying the bible at the start of each day, we can discover our identity in Christ and the immeasurable worth He has placed on us. This also prepares us for the cultural clashes we will encounter throughout our day and help us protect our mental & spiritual health.
Tip #2 - Align Your Values With the Lord's
As Christian women, we must understand the importance of serving God in every aspect of our lives, whether we are stay-at-home wives and mothers or working outside the home. Both callings are valuable in the eyes of the Lord. Proverbs 31:10 tells us that an excellent wife is far more precious than jewels. We have the privilege of being helpers of our husbands and raising children to love and serve Jesus. Older women are instructed to teach younger women to love their families and work at home in Titus 2:4-5. To serve God in our roles, we must prioritize our families, intentionally making time for them and teaching them about the love of Christ.
It's important to note that women who are not wives or mothers still hold value in the eyes of the Lord and can use their gifts and talents in the marketplace. Whether you are a current wife, mother, or single woman, here are some practical steps to align your values with what the scriptures celebrate concerning women:
Strive to honor God both through your relationship with Him and your actions and words. Remember, as Proverbs 31:30 teaches us, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised"
Make it a priority to nurture and care for those around you. As 1 Timothy 5:10 tells us, a woman is known for her good deeds, which include raising children, showing hospitality, helping those in need, and doing all kinds of good.
Foster a gentle and respectful spirit, knowing that this quality is invaluable in God's eyes. As 1 Peter 3:4 reminds us, true beauty comes from within – specifically, from a gentle and quiet spirit that never fades.
Celebrate your inner strength and wisdom as a godly woman, for you are "clothed with strength and dignity" (Proverbs 31:25). Embrace the future with confidence, for you have nothing to fear.
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised." – Proverbs 31:30
Tip #3 - Guard Against Comparison
Comparing ourselves to others can be harmful, leading to feelings of inadequacy and envy that rob us of our joy and contentment. This is especially prevalent in the age of social media, where we are bombarded with curated highlight reels of others' lives. However, constantly measuring ourselves against others not only harms our mental health and relationships but also leads to a lack of appreciation for our unique qualities and accomplishments. To avoid falling into the comparison trap, here are some practical tips:
Turn to the Bible for guidance and inspiration. Proverbs 14:30 reminds us that "a heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones." Similarly, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 encourages us to "give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
Focus on your own journey: Instead of comparing yourself to others, focus on your progress and growth. Celebrate your own achievements and let the will and word of God guide you to determine your goals.
Limit social media use: Consider taking a break from social media or limiting your time on it. Remember that social media does not show the full picture of someone's life, and it is important to stay grounded in reality.
Practice gratitude: Take time to reflect on the things you are grateful for in your own life. This can help shift your focus away from what you don't have and towards what you do have.
Tip #4 - Be the Thermostat, Not The Thermometer
Proverbs 31 portrays an exceptional woman who exemplifies success and virtue through her diligence, wisdom, kindness, and devotion to her family and God. As Christian women, we strive to follow her example by loving and serving our families, leveraging our skills and resources, and positively impacting our communities. We must avoid adopting cultural values that conflict with God's teachings and instead lead distinct and authentic lives that reflect our faith. This calling is challenging, but our efforts are never in vain when done for the Lord. In 1 John 2:15, we are reminded to not love the world or conform to its values, but rather live out our faith in a distinctive way that points others to Christ's love and truth. As salt and light, we create culture rather than merely responding to it.
In Conclusion
As women of God, we must guard ourselves against the tactics of the enemy that seek to distract us from living a righteous Christian lifestyle. We must discover our true value in God and prioritize the values that He holds dear. We should avoid comparing ourselves to others and instead focus on our own journey and growth. We can also choose to be the thermostat in our environment, living out our faith in a way that is distinct and authentic, and pointing others to the love and truth of Christ. Let us continue to seek God's guidance and wisdom as we navigate this life, and may we always strive to honor Him in all that we do.